Name: Eden Adair Carter -- face Ralph Fiennes
Gender: Male
Age: 39 (1968)
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Hometown: Itona, CT
Residence: Ampelstown
Education: BSc in Education with a major in Biology (Teacher Education)
Occupation: Biology teacher (ret.)
Disability: As of yet undiagnosed progressive disease of the central nervous system. First symptoms appeared when he was in his late 20s, and he is now virtually bedridden with symptoms often seen in myalgic encephalomyelitis and multiple sclerosis.
Relationships (i.e. family of origin, significant others, children, companion animals):

Wife Vanessa Marie (née Bevin; 1970) -- face Rachel Weisz Daughter Melinda Adair (1992) -- face Tiger Darrow Son Ryan Adair (1997) -- face Nic/Tristan Puehse

Mother Bevin (née Murdoch; 1946). Medical Transcriber. -- face Brenda Blethyn Father  Malcolm (dec.; 1942-2005) -- face Liam Neeson Sister Elin (1972).  -- face Catherine McCormack

 

Friend Eric Bedre (1968). Works as ASL teacher at Ampelstown high school -- face William Fichtner

Story/stories: A Future Lost


1. If you had a free day with no responsibilities and your only mission was to enjoy yourself, what would you do? I'd spend time outside with my family. On the days when I can get outside, I kind of feel like I did before I got sick, and it’s a very nice feeling.
2. What impression do you make on people when they first meet you?
A lot of people feel sorry for me, and "can't understand how I can be so positive", which got old really fast and has annoyed me ever since I first heard it. How about after they've known you for a while? I think most of them see me as a regular guy, though I know that some seem to be stuck in the pity thing. I try to ignore them, though, because if I don't I worry that I might start feeling sorry for myself again. Since I can remember how hard it was to get over it in the first place, I really don't want to be stuck in that again.
3. What's your idea of a good marriage?
One where both parties feel at ease with each other and share each other's loads. Do you think that'll happen in your life? My marriage is very good, thank you very much. Vanessa is a lovely woman, and I feel safe in my relationship with her. Considering what we have been through together, ie, my illness, I think we're taking "in sickness and in health" quite seriously and live by it the best we can.
4. What are you most proud of about your life?
My children.  At 15, Melinda is growing up to be a lovely young lady who's independent, smart and caring, and Ryan's growing up really fast, too. He's a lot more mature than most other ten-year-old boys I've met.
5. What are you most ashamed of in your life?
I guess I'd have to say not taking my health problems seriously in the beginning. I can't help thinking that if I'd acted sooner, perhaps I would have been healthier today.
6. If you could spend the day with someone you admire (living or dead or imaginary), who would you pick?
Helen Keller. She really inspires me. There's also this woman in South Africa who's had a mobility impairment since childhood and faced various health challenges throughout her life but has never lost her faith...and she works more than full time with her own business too. She's very humble and caring, and I really wish I was more like her.
7. Do you think you've turned out the way your parents expected?
Yes and no. I think I'm a nice guy and all, but my illness has forced me to give up my work as biology teacher, and I've been really passionate about biology ever since I was a kid. I tried for the longest time to work from home, as a tutor and what not, but it requires energy I just can't seem to muster most days.
8. What do you believe about God?
To be honest, I didn't think much about God growing up. Sure, I believed that there was "something" out there that had created everything, but I never really thought about it in depth until I became ill. Then I had pretty much all the time in the world to ponder existential questions like that...but in conclusion, yes I do. What do you suppose God thinks of you? Hopefully He likes me and thinks that the good outweighs the bad. 
9. Is there anything you've always wanted to do but haven't done?
I haven't always thought about it, but ever since I got sick I've wondered what my life would have been like if I'd remained healthy instead. What would happen if you did it? Well, for starters I would still be able to work, and travel. I've done quite a lot of traveling in my life, both in the US and abroad. But there's nothing to be done about it now, and so I try to find joy in my family and friends, and whatever trips I manage to make these days.

 
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10. What's the worst thing that's happened in your life?
Well, becoming ill was pretty bad, but I'd still have to say that Dad dying when I was unable to be there was by far the worst. What did you learn from it? To think more of others and less about myself.
11. Tell me about your best friend.
I've known Eric Bedre since high school. He's a nice, caring guy and a wonderful high school teacher. I like his commitment. He says that he really admires my perseverance, but I don't think it's worth anyone's admiration...either you give up, or you keep going, and quitting is not really an option for me even though it's tempting sometimes.
12. What's the worst thing you've ever done to someone? Why?
Not being there for Dad when he died, because I love him and owe him so much. It was the least I could do, to sit with him and just hold his hand, but instead I was at home, in bed, unable to be with him. 
13. What would you like it to say on your tombstone?
"He helped make the world a better place." I realize how it may sound, and I can't really explain what I mean, either...I just wish that someone will be happier since I've existed, you know?
14. Describe your ideal mate.
My wife! And no, I'm not just saying that because she's within earshot! As I mentioned earlier, an ideal mate for me is one who I feel safe and at ease with, and can tell everything and vice versa. Vanessa is definitely my ideal mate, and I'm glad I found her without much trial and error!
15. What are you most afraid of?
To let people down.
16. What's the most important thing in your life? What do you value most?
Definitely my family. Without them, I don't know what I'd do.
17. What do you like best about yourself? Least?
I try to be supportive of other people, and I'm usually positive. But I have a tendency to be selfish sometimes, and then it's really easy for me to start feeling sorry for myself which is not a good place for me to be. Why? It just starts off this chain of negative feelings which doesn't just affect my mood, but my physical health as well.
18. What do you like best about Vanessa? Least?
There are so many things I like about her! But I would have to say her way of being supportive and positive...but sometimes when I'm having a really bad day I can get annoyed with her optimism! That's really more of a character flaw in me than in her, though!
19. How do you feel about your life right now? What, if anything, would you like to change?
My life is as good as it can be at this point, I think. I wish I could say I didn't want to change anything, but my illness is really a pain in the butt and I'd either not have it or not have it to this extent.
20. Are you lying to yourself about something? What is it?
If I was, would I be able to tell you? I don't think I'm consciously lying to myself, no. I know I'm going to die, probably prematurely, though admittedly it took some time for me to realize that. Not because I'm scared of dying, but because I don't want to leave my family.


©2007 by Cecilia Lind
Maps ©2001-2005 by Douwe Osinga
Character interview questions ©2002 by Laurie Schnebly Campbell